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“The last person to see Josh alive was as fictitious a character as Larry himself.”

when we are little kids we pretend that we are someone else or that we have a friend named Bob that see everything the way we do, but when we grow up we seem to lose the ability to “pretend” and we just grow up to be a bunch of stiffs working in a cubicle for some guy that takes a **** on you every chance he gets and he thinks he is better than anyone in the world. i know that this doesnt have much to do with the quote above but it is what i want to say.

In some time in our lives we get board with the same old crap that we need to find a way to reinvent our person and we go along acting like a puppet for what people want to¬† see when they look at us. In all truth we are “pretending” to be someone were not and i guess even the biggest stiff knows how to pretend or play some thing were not.

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“what would be the best way to die hypothetically of course? Drug overdose? street fight?”

so as i nere the end of the book this came up, and it is a great question.would you go down peacfully or go down fighting. i think that i will go down swinging. this rases another question; are you scaered of death, i’am is it going to be like a dream that goes on forever or is it going to be darkness as far as the eye can with no glowing what so ever.

Think about it…………

“Even my connection with Mom was gone. I missyou, Mom, but not enough to join you. Sorry.”

Ok short but sweet. we all have family that we lose, it is a part of life. some people think that sucide is the best way to get rid of there problems but it isnt i have tried… Keep looking up and MAYBE we can live with loss. TO all that read this keep the thought of death out of your mind and life will go by a little easer.

“Larry was now, officially, a product. And you know what happens to products. They get consumed.”

the corp. world makes everything a lable, product, or a money making scheme in some way. if it isnt making money then it isnt worth time or life.i understand why people are addicted to making money, but money is evil. money making is the only thing on the corp. worlds mind and like i said before if it doesnt make money, it isnt worth time or life.

Can we break this addiction like any other addiction?

while reading the pages before you, i figured this out… Josh’s step dads girlfriend is obsessed with Humpty dumpty. ok ok I know every knows the story, Humpty Dumty falls off the wall and can’t be put back together, the end.

anyways, Josh’s life is falling apart and he doesnt know how to put it back together.he is having trouble with the balance with “Larry” and himself. ( Josh)

He finally tells Beth that he loves her (hahahahahaha he is to young for love) and she tells him she is going with the jock.

“The universe was now behind the wheel, and i was all too happy to hand over the driving.”

when someone does something that they think is hard, they look for an “easy” way out. when the easy was makes its self known people jump on. what should happen it people should stick it out and not think that the easy way out is the best… it isn’t. trust me.

“Good old Beth. I wanted to tell her she was the only person who truly comforted me when my mother died.”

life is difficult and we seem to get stuck on our busy lives and we wonder, “who do we go to if something bad happens to someone we love?” well in most cases my parents arnt the ones i go to, but one of my best friends i talk to about everything. i feel a lot better when i know i connect with someone that understands. (parents do help though)

Who are you going to talk too?

“people climbing their way up the social ladder are just as bad as people climbing up the corporate one,”

ok im kind of stuck in a situation like this, at work im stuck in a spot in between crew and crew trainer position. in my social life i cant go up any more i just dont want personal life changes but i want to be the best in a corporate world…

maybe thats whats wrong with people, no time for the simple things.

“Katherine was forty pounds overweight, always smiling like the poster woman for fat, dumb and happy jeans. she laughed nervously after everything we said and was putting in so much effort to being liked that once in a while i actually found myself rooting for her.”

In this one i found my self thinking about school and how people make fun of others, its kind of depressing but then again… oh well. even when we make fun of others we always find some way to admire that person, and sometimes taking that persons side.

” If Larry was a way to delve into life’s deeper meaning, then count me in.”

i know this sentence is kind of small, but if you read it you will find some truth in it… even the dumbest person can teach you something and the human race thrives on learning. we just dont undeerstand life. end of subject. we all want to know our part in life and we will eventuly do anything to learn that truth.